How to break the ice networking
By Barry Maher, Principal, Barry Maher & Associates
“I keep hearing that I should be attending more networking events to help build my business,” a middle-aged businessman said to me after a keynote presentation the other day.
“And that doesn’t fill you with delight?” I guessed.
He shrugged. “The problem is that I run a plumbing business. I’m not a salesperson. I’m not a politician who knows how to work a room. I absolutely hate networking. I hate it. To me, it’s almost degrading. I feel like I’m begging perfect strangers to help me increase my business. I know it works for some people, but to me, it’s a lot more distasteful than anything I ever had to deal with as a plumber. And that’s saying something, believe me. Is there any way I can get more comfortable with this kind of thing?”
“Maybe,” I said.
Comfortable Networking
The best way I know to get comfortable when you’re networking is to work on making the other person comfortable. When I’m at a networking event myself, I’ll usually start out by approaching the most uncomfortable-looking person available. I introduce myself, and often I ask, “Do you find these things as awkward as I do?”
That’s a great question because it takes the pressure off them and off you as well. Since they’re probably as shy as you are, it also shows confidence that you could even make that admission. Networking gets a lot easier once you realize that it’s not about you, it’s about the person you’re talking to. The secret of effective networking is that it’s all about asking questions and learning about those you’re trying to connect with.
Networking Mistakes
Most people:
- Talk too much;
- Listen too little;
- Ask for the other person’s help much too soon.
Again, networking is not about you, It’s about finding out about the other person, perhaps even uncovering what you can do for them. In other words, it’s about building some sort of relationship—even if it’s a quick and very short-term relationship—before trying to find out what they might be able to do for you. Without that relationship, you’re not networking, you’re cold calling, and there’s no more reason for that person to help you than any other stranger they might come across on the street.
This is just one more case where if you concentrate on the what’s-in-it-for-them the what’s-in-it-for you will usually take care of itself.
Usually. Not always. But usually is usually enough.
Your Best Networking Introduction
A strong elevator pitch can be your best introduction at networking events, as well as in casual meetings and even in job interviews. Unfortunately, most elevator pitches are unfocused and rambling. If they were given in an actual elevator, the trip would have been over before long before any coherent content had been delivered. I recommend developing an elevator pitch in three parts:
- The grabber: “In my last position, I helped the company generate a huge increase in revenue without raising marketing costs, simply by improving their sales team’s closing ratios.”
- The support: “For example, a single training we did for the avionics division resulted in an immediate sales increase of over 10 percent.”
- The tie-in: “What kind of closing ratio does your sales team have?”
Then you need to have it down cold.
Advanced Networking: The Most Successful Strategy, If You Dare
If shyness isn’t a problem for you—or if you’re willing to make the effort to overcome your shyness—the very best networking strategy is to speak at the event. And if you can do the keynote or the main presentation of the day, even better. Do a good job and everyone will want to talk to you. And if they’ve been listening to you, they’ll feel they know you at least a bit and they’re likely to be comfortable approaching you. And of course, it gives you both something to talk about. It’s by far the best networking strategy I’ve ever heard of.
But don’t worry if public speaking seems far beyond you. Start with the simple networking tips I’ve mentioned and you’ll be surprised how far they take you.
If you’re not networking, you’re missing a great opportunity to grow your business and—quite simply—to grow as an individual. Networking can enhance your life. My guess is you’re spending time and effort networking virtually on social media. That may seem like a relatively easy way to network. But in my experience, it’s also a far less successful tool for most businesses. It’s also less satisfying personally. When it comes right down to it, there’s nothing like a personal, face-to-face connection.
With a bit of practice, you may even come to love it.
Barry Maher, www.motivationalpresenter.com, is the author of the groundbreaking book for both sales and non-salespeople, No Lie: Truth Is the Ultimate Sales Tool. Selling Power says “To his power and famous clients, Barry Maher is simply the best sales trainer in the business.”
